In my last post ‘I want to talk about feelings’ (which was shockingly three whole years ago), I was just finishing up the first year of my training to become a therapist. I am pleased to say that now I am qualified to talk about feelings. It’s been one hell of a journey and somehow I made it across the finish line. It feels like now is the best time to re-introduce myself, as a therapist, and as someone who (obviously) cares deeply about mental health and wellbeing in general.

As is the case with many therapists, we are drawn to work with what we know. But like so many people I encounter these days, I had no clue what I wanted to do for the first thirty years of my life. Becoming a therapist was more of a slow realisation than an overnight choice for me – something that had to wait for me to grow into myself.

I explored and enjoyed a number of professions over the years, always pushing forward with the same goal, determined to find the thing that would eventually stick and not feel like ‘work’. All the while I was continually learning new skills, networking and meeting people along the way. By the time I entered my 30’s, I was starting to realise a trend – life was continually redirecting me towards healing and wellness practices. I had discovered meditation (which was game changing for me), I volunteered with a number of wellbeing charities, worked as a caregiver, qualified as a yoga instructor, collaborated with multiple life and career coaches, and I had read and completed just about every personal development book and program I could afford. I was slowly inching closer to figuring it out. My path was never clear cut though, and it saw me stumble and question my direction many times over.

Now, as a qualified therapist, I can comfortably sit back and see that all of my stumbles were things I had to go through. I understand that even the worst things I went through weren’t ‘wrong’ decisions and I needed to experience everything I did in order to learn all the tools I now use to help guide others on their respective journeys. My experiences were all things I can now retrospectively reflect back on and refer to as ‘wisdom’. Often painful but always necessary.

While there were many notable moments of joy and excitement on my journey, the challenges I faced along the way had a tremendous impact on me. I was profoundly affected by the moments of grief, loss, heartbreak, and communication struggles (something that seems to be at the core of so many human problems) I experienced along the way – predominately because of the lack of support I had to get through them with. I felt tremendously alone in my moments of pain and very lost on how to effectively (or healthily) navigate them. The challenges I faced brought about intense nervous system dysregulation for me, which presented in the form of anxiety, panic attacks, perfectionism and overthinking. I found myself oscillating between trying countless quick-fix attempts to ‘heal’ (something a lot of people hope to find in therapy), to simply numbing to avoid feeling altogether. But it was ultimately all the tools I learned along the way, and the therapists, coaches, yoga instructors and meditation gurus I worked with, that taught me how to keep picking myself up again; and I kept getting closer to my calling.

It was some time during the first lockdown that I remember asking my friend what he would do for work if money wasn’t a factor. He shot the same question back to me, and I remember saying, “I just want to be paid to be me.” And it was in that moment that it finally clicked. If I could do literally anything, it would be to support people when they’re hurting, and to help them find themselves (as I had done many times over by that point). I wanted to be the person I never had to talk to (and needed so badly) when I was lost. I started researching ‘how to be a therapist’ that very same day.

Fast forward to five years after my friend asked me that question and I am now a registered BACP Integrative Therapist, Coach (NLP), qualified yoga instructor, and a writer. I believe everything is connected and the parts of us that want to heal, present themselves to us in many different forms. I’m a big believer in the brain/body connection. Unexpressed pain can hide in our bodies and express itself in ways that words often can’t. Yoga, meditation, and daily movement have taught me how to listen to and understand my body when it’s communicating with me. Setting boundaries, clearly communicating needs, conflict resolution, acceptance, compassion, nervous system regulation and inner child work are just a few of the things I now help my clients with (and all things that once upon a time felt impossible to me). My dedication to both my mental and physical wellbeing spills over into all areas of my life and it’s what I love helping my clients do too. Helping people feel better in themselves is the most rewarding job I could ever imagine.

I have been privileged to have lived a life rich in cross-cultural experiences, which is one of the reasons why I find myself drawn to life in the culturally diverse city of London. Born in the United States, raised in the United Kingdom in a very international community, and having since lived and worked all around the world, when asked where I’m from I’m inclined to tell you I’m a citizen of the world. My home is within me and I do not identify with any singular nationality or geographic location. I currently reside in London with no current plans to uproot myself anytime soon (until I’m ready to buy my villa in the Mediterranean) but we never know where life may take us…